And....This is What I'm Up Against

So to be honest, the guys that Jozefina has been choosing for me have been pretty nice.  I've had three "blind" dates and while all seemed harmless and far from odd or mental, I can't justify an entire blog entry for just those one-off, spark-less first dates.

But I can justify a blog posting that highlights some of the crazy matches that OK Cupid is generating.  Maybe, just maybe, it's not me after all....

Sample Crazy #1:

Jozefina is sorting through my match's profiles and forwards me one in particular that had to be noted:  She starts out her email to me with "your matches are insane - one sample:
 

my life in brief: I'm a recent transplant from MI, living in Columbia Heights, DC. I was born, burned myself really badly, got better, broke my wrist falling (jumping) out of a tree, got better, got kidnapped at age 7, got rescued 45 minutes later, broke my wrist again at age 13, survived a bunch of random crushes, went to Mexico, joined a cult in Texas, got kicked out of a cult in Texas, started college, took a break from college, met a girl, fell in love with girl, fell out of love with girl, picked up the mandolin, and moved to DC to intern and study journalism. Oh yeah, and I tie-dyed a bathrobe.

Hahaha. His post only gets better. He later adds: 

Update: All that's true and all, but it's a bit out of date.So I got to DC, interned at a magazine, survived Americorps, moved out of Columbia Heights, moved into the ghetto, had three bikes stolen, bought a ping-pong-table, got a job I love, had a tonsillectomy, discovered my dead roommate and my house burned down, taking with it just about everything I owned. I then moved back into Columbia Heights, got another ping-pong table, and some pretty cool roommates. I've been there for a year now, and it's been relatively smooth sailing for a while.I am intuitive, socially versatile and a damn good time."

Sample Crazy #2:

Jozefina later encourages me to respond to one match (whom I have NO interest in) because he had a nice introduction email.  I reluctantly agree to one (1) response and get the swarm of retorts.  Brace yourself for the final message sent this weekend:
 

Message #1 from Ribbit:

what is your one favorite children book and mask in your collection :)?

Vanessa's Response:

I actually have two favorite masks. My mother and father have long been divorced. Somehow in the same year (2004 I think) they both traveled to Mexico and both brought me back the same mask in different colors - my mom's was pink and beige and my father's was green and black. One very girl-like and one guy-like. These sit next to one another on my shelf to remind me that no matter how far away I am from my parents, who I am as a person I am because of them.
 

Message #2 from Ribbit:

hi (your name?),

sorry to hear that your parents are not together .. although i feel fortunate that my parents marriage, the first for both, not only lasted through their ups and down but became more abiding and romantic ;) until my mother passed away 13 years ago, i can imagine how the parting of a mother and father would be very tough for children to go through . i'm very glad to hear, however, that they obviously both remain loving, engaging, and inspiring parents for you .. i know quite a few children who are not so lucky after their parents divorced ..

"we don't inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children" - love this! i'm very much into organic, self-sustaining ways of life too, especially when it comes to how our produce and livestocks are grown. i've been daydreaming of within the next several years open up locally sourced and organic food online-ordering and processing/ delivery co-op. i had a seed phase internet start-up at one time so do know though how much time and energy dedication is required in such a entrepeneurial endeavor and want to be very sure first that it's something that am willing to commit 200% to .. perhaps if i have a life/ business partner then the efforts would not only be more accomplishing but also more meaningful :)

i'm heading out to dinner with friends but would love for us to get to know each other in more real ways than online as we seem to be quite compatible - perhaps we can get together for coffees, wine flights, or whatever sometime. hopefully, you'd be up for that

my best, always, Ribbit

Message #3 from Ribbit

just noticed on your Award that your name is Vanessa :)
btw, although I go by XXX, good friends sometime refer to me as XX, my given Vietnamese name, as Janie did in my Award ..

Message #4 from Ribbit:

Hi Vanessa,

Sorry but I won't be able to meet up with you anymore as I flew to Vegas yesterday and got married. My berothed is from India so we're going to also have a traditional wedding next weekend for her family and mine of about 1,000 guests

You are cordially invited but please note that we only accept monetary gifts, payable in cash, with a major credit card (VISA/MC and AMEX with two ID's), or Paypal (in advance as we want to make sure our account is first credited e.g. you have fund in the checking account you draw on before your name will be added to our guest list)

By the way, do you know where I can rent a elephant and if we would need a permit for a wedding procession down Pennsylvania Avenue?

~~~~

I'm particularly flattered that my lack of response between messages #2 and message #4 Ribbit was taken to mean that we would be meeting.  

Ahhh...sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying, right?