"You Need to Date Against Yourself"

This is the first of what I hope to be many blogs over the course of the next 40 days.  My friends have asked me to start capturing my dating escapades on a blog site, since my Facebook status only allows for so many characters.  So here goes...

 

And begins the story....

The other day my friend, Jozefina, and I were at brunch discussing the number of people we know who are happily-coupled.  In all actuality we were bitching at how those who we thought would NEVER marry have somehow found themselves overseas, in an exotic land, in love and settled down.  How even the most unattractive individuals in DC are walking around Dupont's farmer's market hand-in-hand.  (There goes my theory on dating Darwinism.) We were wondering how two successful, fit, and good-looking women like us don’t have men yet?  

For the past 5 years I have told myself that I’m just too busy to date, that my career...and then my education....and then my career, again, should come first.  I frequently used the line “I’m a little busy.  If the right guy is out there, he’ll find me.”  But after carrying on with girl's nights out, networking events, speed dating attempts, responses to long-winded eHarmony Q&As, first date set ups, and even joining a kickball team, I’m starting to think that the right guy is a little busy himself and that now it’s my turn to look for HIM!

So then Jozi, my wise and equally gorgeous and single friend, looks me straight in the eye and says “You need to date against yourself. It’s the guys that you’re picking that aren’t working out.  You need to go out with the guys that you wouldn’t usually like and maybe THEN it would work out.”

Wow.  

Profound.

So, I have been fucking this up for myself the whole time? 

Actually, the answer to that is “yes.”  And I know it.  I know that the men I tend to be attracted to are NOT the right ones for me, but in the words of Liza (another wise and gorgeous friend who recently found herself a new BF during an intense night of speed dating) “Mujer, que te pasa?  Erres masoquista?”  Translation: “What’s wrong with you?  Are you a masochist?”  

So starting on March 21, 2011, Jozefina will have full access to my OK Cupid profile and screen all eligible candidates for me until end of April.  She will draft the initial introduction note or “wink” comment; she will sort through my inbox and for any man that initiates first contact with me, she will screen and determine if a response is warranted; and even in real life she will advise me on any man who approaches me.  

In other words, I am relinquishing control of my own dating life and putting this fine responsibility on Jozefina.  She has full control of who I date, call (a return call, of course), text (same), and overall interact with over the next 40 days.

Get ready ladies.  This is about to get interesting....